Christmas, Cuddles and Consent

Parents all too often feel pressure from relatives who want hugs or kisses from their child. It can be hard to say no to this pressure — you may feel that your child is being rude by not hugging their aunt or grandma, that you as a parent are being judged by your family for raising an impolite child. Also, awkward situations come up where you know your child doesn’t particularly like a certain relative, and you might feel guilty about that, and try to encourage your child into physical affection to try to appease said relative.

If you have difficulty justifying your reasons for not making your child show physical affection, or if you just find it hard to do, or you’re just curious about why ‘just a hug’ can be damaging, then I hope that is where this post can help you.

Children are learning all of the time. They have to learn everything, from how to walk, how to speak their native language, and how to interact with the world around them. It is our duty to do our very best to raise our own children to be strong and capable at dealing with the world around them. Children need to learn how to be assertive, they need to learn how to say no, they need to learn how to stand up against emotional blackmail and guilt trips, not be conditioned into caving into them. Because that is what we are doing every time we ignore it when a child says no — and that means verbally or non-verbally.